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A worldshaking new album straight from the Himalayas

Tweetstorm (Feat. Jack Dorsey)

EXCLUSIVE: Journalist Spends 3 Months in Solitude with Jack Dorsey, Emerges with Album that Shatters Conventions (and Probably Makes No Sense)

KATHMANDU, NEPAL - In a shocking turn of events, The Beetroot Times’ intrepid journalist, Bertrand P. Fothergill III, has emerged from three months of isolation in the Himalayas with none other than Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey. And what’s this? They’ve collaborated on an album about Elon Musk buying Twitter.

Yes, you read that correctly. An album.

Titled “Tweetstorm”, the magnum opus is a 12-track masterpiece that defies genres and pushes the boundaries of sonic experimentation. We’re told it’s a “journey through the existential crisis of a social media platform” - but don’t worry, we’ll let you be the judge.

“We just wanted to capture the essence of Elon’s Twitter takeover,” Fothergill III explained in an exclusive interview with The Beetroot Times’ editorial team. “The man’s got more Twitter fingers than a cybernetic octopus on Red Bull. We had to bottle that energy.”

Dorsey, who joined Fothergill III for the duration of their Himalayan retreat, described the experience as “transcendent.” “Bertrand brought his A-game - or rather, his C-minus-in-college game,” he chuckled. “I just provided the existential dread and awkward silences.”

Tracklist highlights include:

1. “The Musk-ification of Twitter” (a haunting a cappella piece that somehow captures the essence of Elon’s tweetstorms)
2. " Dorsey’s Dilemma" (an electronic dance track featuring a 10-minute solo by Fothergill III on his newfound love, the Theremin)
3. “The Algorithmic Abyss” (a post-rock epic with lyrics inspired by the Twitter API documentation)
4. “Buying the Platform, Losing My Mind” (a catchy pop tune that showcases Dorsey’s… um, vocal talents)

When asked about the album’s relevance to the real world, Fothergill III shrugged. “Hey, it’s not like we’re trying to change the world or anything. Just a fun little ditty about the intricacies of corporate ownership and online discourse.”

Fans of experimental music will be thrilled to know that “Tweetstorm” is set for release on… wait for it… April 1st. Yes, it’s an April Fool’s Day release - just kidding (or are we?).

In related news, Twitter has announced a new policy banning the use of hashtags in all future musical releases.

Listen to a sneak peek of “Tweetstorm” here:

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